


Trying Not To Love You

by Pepsi_Or_Coke



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Anger, Confession, Depressed goku, Depression, Giving up on a dream of being a family, Goku Black is both Zamasu and Goku, Goku and Vegeta can go Super Saiyan 4, Goku gets captured, Goku is pregnant but nobody knows it as the tests say otherwise, Goku not taking good care of himself, Goku suffers a bit after the miscarriage, Heart broken, Injured Vegeta, Lots of Sex, M/M, Mates, Miscarriage, Mpreg Goku later on, Pissed off Goku, Pissed off Vegeta, Suicidal Goku, Vegeta helping Goku, Vegeta worrying about Goku, Vegito and Gogeta will be the twins of Goku and Vegeta, Will explain more in the book, Yaoi, depressed, hurt goku, mention of rape, so can Goku Black
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-24 02:17:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 6,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20350741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pepsi_Or_Coke/pseuds/Pepsi_Or_Coke
Summary: Goku and Vegeta are the last Saiyans alive. Though still fighting to keep earth safe, Vegeta wonders why they are still here when they have nothing else to fight for. Goku made it well clear who he's still fighting for but will Vegeta allow such thing to happen?





	1. You

Vegeta stares out as the night comes, consuming the city in a blanket of darkness with bright lit stars. He was lost, empty almost. Missing his kids, his wife, everyone. The world seems cold, dead almost if it weren't -

"Vegeta?"

Vegeta gave a light smirk. 'As if he can read my thoughts and knows I'm talking about him.' "What?" He said in his usual alpha voice

Goku sits down next to him, just staring out

He hums, remaining his old self. "Whatever"

"I miss them too. But that doesn't mean waste yourself away." He looks up at Vegeta with worried eyes

Vegeta hated that look. Not sure if it was because it was from him or it was out of his pride for people to look upon him with pity. Either way, which it was, he had to look away. "What do you know?" He flinched at his own words, but seeing the pain out of Goku's eyes, he knew he hit a nerve. He barely sees the man. Hunting him down wasn't the best view either as he saw Goku crying over the grave of ChiChi. So broken, so lost without her. He hated himself now. "Just go away..." He was tired, more tired as he came out here from having another breakdown or panic attack as he found a picture of them with baby Bulla and he had to leave. He was mentally and physically drained

"No." Goku stands up, and even though he grew up normally under the training with Shenron to restore the dragon balls, he was Vegeta's height. He pulled Vegeta into a hug

Vegeta stiffened and growled. "Get off"

He shook his head, shaking slightly as he was crying. "Please..."

Vegeta stopped for a moment, listening to the broken plea

Goku never said anything else, just nuzzling Vegeta's neck and wrapping his tail around Vegeta's leg

Vegeta snarled quietly, in warning. The idiot was pushing boundaries, much less crossing a line he had no clue about. "Kakarot get a hold of yourself-"

"I'm tired of living alone, I'm tired of being tired, I hate the silence and hearing myself scream at night from memories before breaking down. I do know, Vegeta. I hate the pain, I hate it all..." He quietly sobbed

Vegeta can feel Goku's energy zapping away and he held onto him from crashing or falling, he didn't know which. What he did know is he better hope he never sees this side of Goku again. He held onto him, petting him even. "Kakarot I'm sorry..."

"I guess there is a reason to keep fighting..."

He felt dread from Goku. Even giving up and it worried Vegeta about Goku's health but his stability. "And what's that?" Wanting to keep him talking

Goku pulled away a bit, tears filling his eyes, tears streaming down his face. He looked terrible. But he grabbed Vegeta's hands and sighed heavily. Preparing himself it seemed. "You can hate me for this, or even kill me, but..." His tail was thrashing in nervousness. "I'm only fighting for you, Vegeta"

'Fighting for me?' Vegeta thought is question. "What do you mean?" He had a feeling he knows what Goku is getting at and he didn't like it one bit

Goku's cheeks turned a light pink. "I'm saying I..." He sighs a bit in defeated, "I like you okay?"


	2. Why Me

Watching with a painful expression as Goku tries to breathe. He can almost hear his bones snapping and grinding as he gasps to stay alive. Korin doesn't have any senzus and will take a week before any will be ready. So now he has to babysit Goku to make sure he stayed alive. He leaned back into the chair by Goku's bed and thinks about what happened in the last 10 or 15 or however long they were out there. He saw red and before any of them could grasp what was said or done, Vegeta attacked Goku. Sending a fist to his face as blood gushed from Goku, bones cracking under his fist. All was in a blind rage and he barely could remember what happened after it was done. A hard knee to Goku's ribs, snapping those, snapping Goku's right leg, and all he can hear was a scream he heard from the first time he arrived Goku when crushing him in his ape form. Yet now he was heavily panting and staring at Goku who was barely conscious, barely alive really. And yet Goku still said he loved him. Not liked _loved _and it bothered Vegeta more. Yet when Goku slipped unconscious he saw the tears again and something snapped in him to carry him back to CC and to get him somewhat comfortable before flying to Korin to find out what he knows now. He opened his eyes and stared at Goku who looked, fragile and pain set in his heart that he caused this man to break yet to speak his mind of his love for him. In someway Vegeta feel uncomfortable, disgusted, and unnerved. Yet another part of him, his Saiyan said speaks of pride, joy, and a mate. He looked throughout Goku's body of noticeable broken bones, possible broken bones, and bad bruising on his pale skin. Yet he still holds the same innocent around him. "Why me, Kakarot..."


	3. ANSWER ME

A couple of days later Goku starts to stir awake, whimpering quietly as it felt like his body was was alive and pulsing every breath he took

"Finally awake"

Goku refused to look at him as now he knows he fucked what friendship they had. There really wasn't anything to say now

"The cat said it'll be a week before the senzus will be ready so sadly I have to watch over you-"

"You can just leave me...I know you hate me now...I know I broke what we had. You don't have to force yourself to do this"

"Why," Vegeta said softly

Goku doesn't look at him or respond. He's not even sure why himself. Just knows he's falling harder for his prince each day

"I swear to God you better answer me Kakarot-"

"I don't know! What do you want me to say?!" He looked at Vegeta, tears streaming. "I like you, what more do you want from me?!"

"WHY? WHY ME!?" Vegeta demanded as his own anger gets the best of him

"I don't know why you, Vegeta!" He was breathing heavily now between the crying, the panic, and plain anger. "I just do..."

"So what, you're dreaming of me?! Fucking you every night?! You're fucking delusional if you think I feel the same way!"

"I NEVER SAID YOU WOULD!! I EVEN SAID YOU CAN HATE ME OR EVEN KILL ME BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WOULD BE LIKE THIS!"

"SO WHY DID YOU SAY IT?"

Both glared at the other with so many emotions firing in the pits of their eyes before Goku turned away

"I-I don't know. I don't know why I bother telling you. I knew you would be like this yet I felt like I had to tell you so you knew"

Vegeta shakes his head, his tail lashing out before he stormed out. He was done with this conversation

Goku looked back at Vegeta. "Vegeta wai-"

"DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME WHORE!" Vegeta faces him with death in his eyes. "I should've killed you. Be lucky I didn't faggot." He said with disgust before he flew off, leaving Goku with wide eyes and pain in them


	4. An Excuse

Flying from Korin's place with a few senzus. Lately, he's been having a sense of almost a depression drive and he's worried it might be Goku. But with his pride and what went down, he still couldn't face him. But he knows something is wrong with the Saiyan and needs to check on him. He's just glad the senzus were ready to provide an excuse of his visiting and not make Goku think he came out of worriedness. 'What are you doing, Kakarot.' He said to himself. Soon he sees the house (if you can call it that) and lands. Emotions hitting him hard from the place. Anger, pain, sadness, even depression. Vegeta was now more worried and kicks down the door. Nothing but darkness inside but he knows where Goku is. He can feel a pull leading him to Goku. He kept guard in case someone attacks him or Goku tries to fight him. He stands in front of the room he put Goku in, the door with a hole through it. Inside he can hear little sniffling noises and angry cries. He winced a little before opening the door and walls in. Pulling on his mask as if he's only here just because of the senzus. "Here, take on-"

"I hate you..." Goku said in a broken voice, not facing him. "I hate you'

He looks at Goku not really sure how to respond to that as the man never uses the word hate to anyone. Not even those who killed or tried to kill his family or friends. "You don't hate me, you wish you can yet can't stop thinking about me fucking you. Right?" He didn't know why he was doing this anymore. He can see, almost FEEL the pain each word hitting Goku. He was the cause of the this, after all. "Now sit up and eat for once and stay the hell out of my life"

Goku sits up alright. With blood dripping from his arms and empty blood red eyes staring at Vegeta. Tears nearly gone and his heart shattering. Why does he still fight, still hope Vegeta will someday understand him. "There happy?" Venom in his voice

Everything just stopped but also fast forward as Vegeta didn't know what to say or do as he grabbed Goku (somehow) and it all turned into a struggle as Goku fights him before just breaking down into sobs

Vegeta never remembered how he gave Goku the senzu, or letting Goku cry his life out to him, letting himself hold onto him tightly as he slips passed consciousness. Or even why he stayed there. In a state of panic himself. Afraid he leaves, Goku would kill himself. He stayed in that corner and just held him close as tears streams down. 'I'm so sorry, Kakarot'


	5. Staying

Vegeta is in the kitchen making breakfast. His mind still blank from what he saw 5 hours ago

"Thought you'd already left..." A small, quiet voice said from the doorway

"If you think I would leave after what I saw then you really are a dumbass"

Goku's tail whipping the air as he's mad but a bit distressed. "Why do you care? Your big impression made it clear you want nothing to do with a whore much less a faggot, or so you claimed." He mutter the last part

Vegeta felt that. It was like a dagger stabbing his heart. "Kakarot I may be an ass but I don't want people to go and kill themselves because of some words I said...I just don't see why me..."

Goku looked away, getting backed up into a corner now. "Can I have no reason as to why all of this is happening?"

Vegeta looks at him from the corner of his eye and just sighs heavily. Knowing he has a lot of work to do with him now. "Whatever makes you happy now come and eat before I eat it all"

"Not before I do"

Vegeta smirked. "Is that a challenge?" He raised an eyebrow as his tail twitches in excitement of this little game

Goku gave his own smirk. "Maybe...'

Let's just say Goku won and the kitchen was a mess. And a little kiss came into play of it all

Vegeta, laying on the couch with Goku laying on him, passed out, plays with his hair, enjoying the soft purrs from Goku who snuggles more into him. 'Kakarot what have you done to me'


	6. Heat

A couple of weeks passed and Goku and Vegeta have gotten closer than ever. Though harsh words were said, were remembered, and a sense of protecting (from Vegeta), everything was good though

Goku was laying in bed as Vegeta went out for some reason. He didn't bother hearing him as he body felt it was on fire. He waited until the heat passed but it stayed and he can feel something soaking through his pants which made him blushed a lot. Because of that feeling, He got up and decided to have a cold shower. He turned it all the way to the right and slowly removes his clothes before feeling that wetness going down from an area that it shouldn't be leaking. He looked at his boxers to find clear or milky white sticky substance and he blushed more, quickly getting into the shower. He tail between his legs as he stands there unsure what to do. He lays down on the floor and opens his legs. 'I can't believe I'm going to do this.' He rubs a finger at his entrance and gasps lightly. His face heats up before adding the finger in him, moaning out lowly. 'So good~." H adds 2 more fingers in him, his tail wrapping around his cock as he moans out louder, tossing his head to the sides

An hour later Vegeta finally comes home

The smell of heat hit him full force when he arrived home, it was worse when he walked inside. By the time he was upstairs he was covered in sweat, his cock was pressed tightly against his jeans, and his mind was clouded

Still in the shower, Goku was in tears. His body was on fire and it felt like there was no release to his suffer no matter how many times he came. He felt Vegeta was home and something made him call out. His voice was low and gone almost but he knew Vegeta hate him when he got closer as the door was torn out of the wall and a low growl with a scent of a horny Saiyan mixed with Goku's scent of heat. Goku shuddered and whimpered out

It wasn't long when they both were naked. Goku pressed against the wall with Vegeta trapping him. Both roughly kissing, biting lips, getting lost in each others taste. Vegeta brought both of Goku's legs around his waist and thrust into him. Both cried out in a mix of pleasure and one's heat while the other the thickness and being filled. Vegeta pounding into Goku as Goku placed rough kisses in Vegeta's neck and some bite marks. Both heavily panting and lost in their senses as first Goku cums, sinking his teeth into Vegeta's shoulder before Vegeta soon cums. Holding Goku tightly onto him as he shudders and comes undone. Both slouching against the wall and breathing heavily. A soft kiss from Goku and again they get lost in an endless night with each other


	7. A Family?

Goku was curling up with Vegeta, drawing on his chest. Lately, he feels like he's missing something. Something inside of him. He can't explain the feeling as he will just snap and cry. He kisses Vegeta's shoulder, his neck, down to his chest before lightly kissing him

Vegeta has been watching Goku having one of his silent days. He notices the mood swings and him in distressed of missing "something" yet he doesn't understand and that nearly gets him killed when Goku has his fits. He kissed back when Goku kissed him. Rubbing his back before grabbing his ass, smirking when Goku flinched. "What?"

His face red with a pout. "I'm sore you jerk"

"Don't be asking me to fuck you in Super Saiyan 4 then." Realizing their new position, wraps his tail around Goku's leg. Knowing he needs to ease his mate out of his distressed state now and not when he kills himself. "We need to talk"

He hated that voice as nothing good comes from that tone. "Yeah?"

Vegeta thinks on what to say, rubbing Goku's hipbone to comfort him a bit. "Saiyans go through a state of heat or runt. Lower classes are more so the heat. We know you were in heat and likely because of our tails being back and you hit your prime state of early adulthood. But that also means I'll go into rut and it'll be worse for you as... it'll look like I'm forcing you into It. And likely I might"

He kisses him again. "I love you...and if it's a Saiyan thing I don't care. You won't hurt me if you're in control than if someone or if instincts get the best of you"

He really has nothing to say, to show how grateful he is to have someone like Goku (or Goku in general) to be his mate. He gives a squeeze with his tail around Goku's leg before continuing. "After a Saiyan in runt not only mates to an off heat Saiyan but... there are some heat Saiyans that have a gene from the earlier time of Saiyans when both gender could have cubs." Looking at Goku for any confusion or upset look. Yet nothing. Just a full look of not understanding

"I'm out of my heat...you're going into rut, whatever that is to do what we did, and out of that I might get pregnant?"

Vegeta sits up and holds Goku close. "Kakarot, your body is fertile which explains your out lashes and the feeling of something is gone from you. Your body is looking for a cub and that feeling of loss is because I never gave you one"

Goku lays his head on his shoulder, thinking. "So... I'm supposed to be pregnant after my heat then?"

"It's complicated. Your first heat is the worst especially with no one to mate with. Lucky for you I'm here. The next part is having to go through this state of mourning as you didn't have a cub for the simple fact as you are young and in the mindset of knots which is what my runt provides as you're still fertile enough to get pregnant during my stage. After that and on our next heat and rut, they should match up next season. Don't ask me how I just learn from what they said and shown"

"Oh..."

Vegeta sighs. "Out of it all once you become a carrier it'll be a while before we have our next season anyways but even then after the first litter you still can get pregnant out of season once in a blue moon. It's rare but it happens"

Goku thinks about all of this. "Do you want a family?" He asked carefully

Vegeta looks down at Goku. "It'll be an interesting family"

Goku lightly smiled. "Vegeta we never were normal. This family will never be normal for the years to come. I'm sure nothing will stop that"

"Then you got your answer"

Goku hums, feeling tired and drained. At least he has a reason for his body

"Don't dwell too much on it, Kakarot. Just rest for now"

He nodded, curling up into a ball form with his tail around Vegeta's arm

Vegeta holds him close, nuzzling his neck as he moves his tail to be around Goku's waist. Eyeing his midsection. 'Our cubs. They'll be stronger than Kakarot and I.' A small smile finds it's way on his face as he can't wait for the day his blood surpasses them. A swell of pride fills his heart


	8. Play~? (Editing)

Goku: *outside cooking some fish and bear he caught and found. Worried in his eyes as lately, Vegeta hasn't been feeling well* 'hopefully it's nothing serious...hopefully'

Vegeta: *watching Goku with hungry eyes* 'all mine~'

Goku: *after he skinned the bear, he cut it into pieces and throws it in a pan, unaware of Vegeta stalking him*

Vegeta: before wraps his arms around Goku's waist, nuzzling his neck*

Goku: hey! *he jumped slightly, blushing a bit at his reaction*

Vegeta: *he bit Goku in the neck, growling. His boner pressed against Goku's ass*

Goku: *he moaned out, slacking a little*

Vegeta: *he nipped his ear* you're only making me harder~

Goku: *his eyes widens and he squirms slightly in his hold* Vegeta stop...

Vegeta: *he purred out, walking him inside*

Goku: I-Vegeta the food...

Vegeta: *slams Goku against the wall and roughly kisses him*

Goku: *his tail puffed up, freezing*

Vegeta: you naked and in the room **_now_**

Goku: *he nods, not sure what to say and quickly runs upstairs*

Vegeta: *he walked into the kitchen to grab some things before heading upstairs*

X

Goku: AHHH~ VEGETA~ *heavily moaning*

Vegeta: *panting and both covered in sweat and cum, he grabs Goku's dick and strokes him* so beautiful~

Goku: *his eyes rolled at the back of his head as his body jerks roughly*

Vegeta: *he slams into Goku, hitting his sweet spot* cum~

Goku: *his body had a mind of his own from his mushy mind as on command, he came. Crying out Vegeta's name in broken segments*

Vegeta: *he kissed Goku to keep quiet as he cums, moaning out softly*

Goku: *he shudders, tired but satisfied. Before going unconscious, wonders how the week will be like now*


	9. Why Us... (Editing)

*5 months later*

Vegeta: *rubbing Goku's back as pain rips through his body, causing Goku to scream and clenched the sheets*

Goku: it hurts so much *sobbing through his teeth, barely able to breathe as it feels like someone is repeatedly stabbing his insides*

Vegeta: shh Kaka *watching in horror as blood drips from him, thinking it's a premature birth* it'll be over soon

Goku: *he screams out as he clenches the bed, tears streaming* just kill me!! *sobbing and shaking, more blood flowing from him*

Vegeta: *his heart breaks. Not only to the sight of Goku and unable to help much, but now knows this is a failed pregnancy* Kakarot whatever is happening just let it...

Goku: why are you saying it like that *he looks at him, scared*

Vegeta: Kaka you're having a miscarriage *pain in his eyes* the cub is dead, I'm so sorry

Goku: *he stares gasping as he's breaking down. Crying heavily into Vegeta's chest* NO IT CAN'T BE! IT CAN'T BE! *sobs*

Vegeta: *he held him tight, letting Goku scream and beat on him a little as he has an episode of violence*

*25 minutes later*

Vegeta: *holding an unconscious Goku after he slightly calmed down enough for them both to get cleaned up, Vegeta cleaning up where most of the blood is as Goku laid in bed in silence. Shock, where sometime soon he passed out. Vegeta heavily sighed* 'why now, why us. I'm so sorry Kakarot' *the tears finally flows*


	10. We Try Again (Editing)

*it's been a year since the miscarriage. During the time of it, Goku has been depressed and upset and it's been affecting Vegeta a lot as he doesn't know how to help Goku as much other than holding the man and saying soothing things in his ear. He hates seeing Goku depressed and since that day, he made an oath to make sure he will do all he can for his mate to have a cub. He notices Goku's scent and though Goku probably is still in too much of a numb state to feel his heat, this is the best chance to make get him pregnant again*

Vegeta: *he goes over to Goku and nuzzles his neck. Purring lowly* you're in heat

Goku: *he politely shugs Vegeta off* I don't care...I don't want to make new cubs I want the one I lost back...

Vegeta: *he sighs* Kakarot it's been a year. I know it's been hard, especially for you, but there's nothing we can do about it. Most people will tend to have a miscarriage before they can have a kid. It's normal

Goku: I'm not ready to go through it again, Vegeta *he faces him with tears in his eyes* I don't want to go through that all over again

Vegeta: *he holds the man, wrapping his tail around him* Kakarot I wouldn't put you through this if I didn't believe we can have a family. I hate seeing you like this. And for God sakes, I'm going out of character for you. But we have to try again and to know if it's possible

Goku: *he nuzzles his neck. Using his scent to calm him down* I don't know, Vegeta...

Vegeta: please Kakarot, don't make me beg...all I'm asking is us to try again. And if anything happens we'll stop for a while or altogether. But we won't know until we try

Goku: *he thinks for a bit. Knowing Vegeta won't let him go until he gets an answer* I guess you're right...

Vegeta: I'm not going to force you until you want to, just know that much

Goku: *he lightly smiled* I know, and I love you for that. I know words of compassion are hard for you but thank you for all you have done for me *he nuzzles him*

Vegeta: *he pulls Goku tightly against him. Wishing he can say those 3 words just for him* 'I will in time, Koi'

Goku: *he lightly smirks in mischievous and grinds his need against Vegeta's. Moaning out softly*

Vegeta: *he smirks and roughly kisses him. His hands on Goku's ass*

Goku: *he moans loudly, feeling hot and fuzzy* please~

Vegeta: anything for you~ *he tears his clothes off and sucks on his neck. He shoves Goku to the counter and lets the man sit on it as he wraps his legs around his waist*

Goku: ahh~ Vegeta~ *not wanting to play right now*

Vegeta: *he smirks and thrusts in him*

Goku: AHH~! *throwing his head back and thrusting all the way on him*

Vegeta: *he purrs out, pounding in him* fuck you're still tight~

Goku: *he was panting and unable to speak as Vegeta hits his sweet spot on every thrust. He thought about Vegeta in Ssj4 and he came with that thought before his eyes popped open and his face heats up in embarrassment*

Vegeta: *he looks at him in shock before a sly smirk shows up* what were you thinking

Goku: *he was very embarrassed* um... *he lowers his head in shame*

Vegeta: *he lifts Goku's head by his tail* if you want me to fuck you in a certain way then please do tell me

Goku: it wasn't a way but more of a form

Vegeta: *amusement in his eyes and he barely brushes his lips to Goku's* tell me *he said in a whisper*

Goku: *he shudders as his breath hitches* 4...


	11. Nothing...

Goku stares at the pregnancy test with great anxiety. 'Here goes nothing...' He was scared and anxiety sets in as he does his business and caps the test. Now waiting. He feels cold and alone with uncertainty

'Koi come here. Don't stress yourself out.' Vegeta said through their bond. He tried to hide the worry and the anxiety not just form Goku himself but also him

Goku walked out and into the bedroom where he curls up into Vegeta, whimpering. "I want it..."

Vegeta holds Goku, petting his tail while he thinks on what to say. "I know... I do to"

"What if I'm not?" He looked at him with fearful eyes

Pain was all he felt as he holds Goku tightly. Praying to the Gods he is. He hated seeing Goku like this. "We'll keep trying until you are, Kaka"

"I don't think I will want to..." He said softly. Afraid of Vegeta's reactions as he knows Vegeta wanted a cub as much as he did. But how much further he is going to have to do when deep down, he's suffering? "I don't want my heart to be broken any more than what it has been..."

Vegeta: I know *he nuzzles him* I don't want you to suffer or blame yourself though either

He sighs, his stomach in knots as he looks at the bathroom. "Okay..." He gets up and heads to the bathroom. Holding his breath as he looks down the pregnancy test as the tears start to form and stream down his face. Pain and anger fill him as he punches the wall and storms off. Sobbing

Vegeta watches in shock and confusion and worried as he watches Goku storm off. He looks back at the bathroom with dread setting in him. He slowly gets up and inches into the bathroom before picking up the pregnancy test. "Oh Kaka..." He drops it and runs after Goku before he does something stupid. The pregnancy test breaks and cracks, revealing a negative sign on it with the words "Not Pregnant" next to it


	12. Hopeless Dream

*3 months after the pregnancy test. Goku lays awake in bed next to Vegeta. 3 months since he and Vegeta tried for a baby. Yet, dreams filled his broken heart of his desire to have a family. It pains him to unable to have them and he knows it hurts Vegeta more to see himself like this. Tonight is no different as Goku slips out of Vegeta's grip and goes outside to see the stars*

Goku shivers at the cold weather and hugs himself. His eyes gray and searching for comfort and answers. Though the weather harsh, the sky was clear and even the stars were brighter. He stood there, searching. His heart filled with doubt and holes as he closes his eyes and wish. Wishing for answers, wishing for hope, wishing that he and Vegeta can have a family to call their own. He feels the tears stinging his cold cheeks but he keeps wishing and praying and hoping for something to happen. He can hear someone call his name but it sounded far away. His body was numb but at the same time a bit burning up. He didn't feel his body hitting the ground or feel someone touching him as he finally passes out

-a day and a half later-

Pain was all he felt. It was a burning feeling and a chilling feeling. A nightmare holding him back from waking up and see his mate and cry in his arms in fear and relief. He didn't like this feeling but he soon hears a small conversation. His mate and a female voice he didn't recognized. Confused and trying to figure things out, he hears the female walking away and can sense his mate looking at him

"Kakarot?" Vegeta softly asked, going to Goku's side and sitting down. "Your ki spiked... You're in the hospital"

Goku frowned, wondering how and why as he slowly opens his eyes and looks at Vegeta

Vegeta sighs. "Idiot... You had passed out from starvation and exhaustion as well as from the cold"

He slowly remembers going outside and seeing the stars and wishing for anything to happen. But he didn't feel weak or exhausted. He was fine! Maybe passing out is his answer. A grim answer. He sighed, the pain worse but from his heart. "I want to go home," he said sadly

"Soon. Won't be for a while though. Just get better for me, Kaka"

Goku, not wanting to see the pain in his mate's eyes, nods. He can throw away the thoughts of having a feeling. He can forget he had a miscarriage. What he can't forget is the pain in his heart...


	13. Gotta Have A Bit Of Faith

In a week, Goku was finally released from the hospital. Though, still weak and underweight, Vegeta hasn't dared to leave his Koi alone for a moment. He knows Goku won't try to do anything as serious as he did, but he can't leave Goku alone. He needs all the help he can get even if it means he risk his own health. As of now, they are curling up on the couch with the TV playing and Vegeta petting Goku. Both lost in serious thoughts on what their lives have been since the beginning

"I'm sorry," Goku said in a weak, small voice. "I've caused so much damage, I wouldn't be surprise if you have enough of me and all of this"

"Kakarot, if I didn't want to be here or want anything to do with you, I wouldn't be here. I'm staying as you're more than what you set yourself up. We'll get through this; we always do"

"This is different, though." He said as he sat up to look at Vegeta with teary eyes. "I lost our first cubs and since then I haven't been able to get pregnant. I tried to kill myself, Vegeta. All of this is too much and not fair. It's not fair to you..."

Vegeta breathes in and out slowly, thinking. "I want to first ask something first and I want an honest answer"

Goku hugs himself, not liking this. But he nods, "sure..."

"Are you only staying with me and only wanting to have my cubs because of who I am and my past?" He asked carefully. Not wanting to distress his mate anymore than what he already is in

Goku raised an eyebrow in confusion. "I don't understand-"

"Are you only staying with me and forcing yourself all of this misery and depression to have my kids because I am a Prince"

Goku glared at Vegeta. Anger boiling under his skin. "I should yell at you, even find a way to hurt you for that, but as you know your _highness_," he said with a hiss, "I'm way too weak and I have no doubt you can end up killing me like you always wanted."

Vegeta actually winced at that. "I'm not here to fight-"

"Then what do you want from me?!" Goku shouted at him with tears in his eyes. "If you honest to God believed I'm only doing this for you then you can get the hell out of my life, Vegeta. I love you and I believe we can have a family, but everything is just too much. I wasn't suppose to have that miscarriage. I'm not suppose to not get pregnant anymore. I'm not staying because I feel obligated to force myself in being your breeding whore. Vegeta, I had a dream we will have a family and that's what broke me. I saw us so happy and I want that so much. I just feel like nothing or anybody is on my side for that to happen and now I feel used and a bit angry with you for thinking of me so low like this. It's not fair. I'm suffering so much and yet it doesn't seem to do anything to you!"

Vegeta pulled Goku into a hug, sighing. "Kakarot that's not true... I'm asking because you're killing yourself and yet you're not giving yourself time to wait and just mourn for the loss of our first cub. You're pushing yourself too far to get pregnant and maybe that's the reason. Your body isn't ready, Kaka. And don't flip this on me and say I'm not in as much pain as you are. I rather have a dead cub than a dead mate. I'm not losing you, Kaka. Not anymore..."

Goku sighed deeply, thinking. "I don't know what to do, Geta. I don't want to die, I don't want this. But it's been so hard and unfair for us. And the dream seemed so real"

"I don't have a doubt in my mind what you saw was real. But not now. You need to rest and recover before we think about trying for a fun, again"

Goku smiles and nuzzles Vegeta's neck. Feeling a bit of peace. "Since when you became the voice of wisdom"

Vegeta let out a small laugh. "You got me there, Koi. Maybe after I found out you've been starving yourself to death and tried to kill yourself out in this weather"

"Ouch. I was looking for a rhetorical answer not a blunt honest truth. But I guess that's fair." Goku pulled away to look at Vegeta. A small smile on his face

Vegeta felt his heart swelled as he can see his Kaka now. He runs his hand down Goku's face before looking between his lips and his eyes

Goku blushed under the attention and look but pulls in for a kiss that was nothing but sweet

Vegeta growls a little, nipping and sucking on Goku's bottom lip. He smirks when he feels Goku shivering on his lap. He pulls on Goku's hair to turn his head to the side so he attacks the his neck and the bond mark

"Fuck, Vegeta~" Goku gasps out in an airy moan as he bucks harder

Vegeta licked his lips, his eyes glistening over with lust. "Is this okay?"

"You better finish what you started or I'm kicking you out of the room and sleeping on the couch." Goku threaten at the man as he curled up his lip to flash a fang at Vegeta

Vegeta gave an open smirk at his mate. "That's the Kakarot I mated to"


	14. A New Threat Rising

Goku looks out from from the kitchen door with a cup of cocoa and wrapped up in a robe. His mind for once not haunted by everything that happened. He watches as the first snow makes it way down and covering the ground as his nose is inhaling the sweet smell of melted marshmallows and heated up chocolate. His mind fuzzy with all of this, he didn't realized Vegeta walking in until he felt arms wrapping around his waist and pulling him close. He purrs and melts into Vegeta, feeling so light and at peace. "Hey"

"Hey yourself. What are you doing up so early anyways?" Vegeta mumbled as he looks outside over Goku's shoulder

"Hmm" he hummed, wrapping his tail around Vegeta's leg. "Really, I don't know. I just had a sense to come down here have some hot chocolate, and watch the snow fall. I can say since I woke up, I've felt lighter. I don't feel overwhelmed or trapped or even depressed"

Vegeta actually looks a bit shocked. "Really, now"

"Yep!" Goku turned to kiss Vegeta before walking out of his old. "Wanna walk around once the snow stops? I don't feel like being trapped inside today and I want to see if the snow will stick for some snowball fight and some snow angels"

Vegeta eyes Goku. Not sure what to think about Goku's behavior. "If you want to, I guess we can. You sure you're okay?"

Goku sits down, looking at Vegeta with confusion. "Depends on what you mean"

"You look... Happier. Almost like you're glowing. You did a 180 from what you have been to now and I am a bit suspicious if this is an act, if you really are genuinely happy, or if something is really wrong here"

Goku sighed. "I don't know, Vegeta. Maybe something snapped finally? I really don't know why I feel better. I just do..."

"Hopefully it stays that way. Made anymore?" He walked to the coffee pot

"Yep. Figure you want something warm while suffocating me"

"Oh shut up. You wish I was suffocating you"

Goku laughed a bit. "No, I prefer alive and breathing thank you very much"

Vegeta hummed, looking around for the marshmallows as his cup gets filled. "What do you want to do as we wait out the storm?"

"What makes you think this is a snow storm? And we can just cuddle and watch TV or maybe... Fool around." He gave a half smirk

Vegeta tried hard not to smirk. "Your sex drive is a mess, Kakarot"

"It's not my fault!" He pouted

"No, I guess not. But you need to chill and quit jumping me"

Goku threw a pillow at Vegeta who laughed

In a world distant in time and space from Vegeta and Goku lays a darken planet that was once Earth. The planet dead as it lays in fire. Buildings down, no humans wondering or screaming. In the town of West City is a figure walking down what was once a street. His outfit black with a red sash. One green Potara on his left ear with a scepter in hand. The gem glows in the center that shows Goku and Vegeta before the figure snarled, clenching the scepter. "Continue to feel safe, Son Goku. Once the time ring is ready, I _will_ come for you and make you suffer. My future self may have failed, but mark my words when I return. You will _**never**_ forget the name of Goku Black"

Thunder and lightning rumbles in the distance as a bolt comes down from the darken sky near the figure, revealing Goku Black


End file.
